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Saturday, December 1, 2012

MY MOTHER-IN-LAW CRASHED MY FIRST MARRIAGE…I Don’t Blame Ladies Who Wish Theirs Were Dead Before They Got Married – Actress Mercy Aigbe

Mercy Aigbe is one of the most-sought- after actresses in Nollywood. In this interview with Vanguard, Mercy opens up on many issues, including her marriage to her ex-husband, her recent marriage, career, challenges and others.

Excerpt:

Q: And you didn’t get harassed by producers?
A: I wouldn’t call it harassment. Yes, men make passes at me because I’m very beautiful. It happens everywhere. I’m an adult and if I wanted to date someone, I would have but I didn’t date anyone.

Q: Why?
A: Because I just believe that relationships in such industry doesn’t work.

Q: You don’t trust anybody?
A: Exactly. I just have that thing at the back of my mind that such relationship won’t last long.

Q: Was that what determined you choice of a husband?
A: Probably, but the thing is that I knew I wasn’t going to date anybody in the industry. So, I wasn’t attracted to anyone and didn’t allow any feeling to develop inside me for anyone. When I’m on set, I just do my job. But I can’t say it influenced my choice of husband. Fine, my husband isn’t in the industry. I didn’t know I would get married to a hotelier and a car dealer. I didn’t have a particular picture in mind. I just met him; fell in love with him because he was very kind, matured and understanding.

Q: Doesn’t he (your husband) suspect you having an affair whenever you are away on set?
A: The reason he doesn’t doubt is because when we were dating, I didn’t give him any cause to doubt me. According to him, he has tested me and he trusts me.

Q: So how do you cope being the second wife. Don’t you and the first wife have clashes?
A: Laughs. This question is very funny and I’m going to deal with this now. What happened is that when I met him, he was already separated from his first wife. Although, they were still married, but no longer together. She lives abroad with the children. So, they were already separated when we started dating.

Q: They weren’t divorced?
A: They weren’t divorced as at the time when I met him but now, they’ve finalized their divorce and I’m the only wife. They were separated for like five years before I came into the picture and their divorce case was in court. They were divorced before we got married. A lot of people don’t know the real gist- now I’m not the second wife but the only wife.

Q: So now you’re happy?
A: Yes because even when I started dating him, I just allowed people to say whatever they wanted to say. They were still in court then, I didn’t want to say anything and just kept quiet and the town went agog. They finalized their divorce before our wedding and even before I had my son.

Q: Does your ex husband still bother you?
A: No, he doesn’t

Q: Did he let you be just like that?
A: Of course.

Q: Has he moved on like you?
A: I don’t know anything about him.

Q: Both of you don’t care?
A: Why would I care? I’m married now and I care only about my husband and my kids.


Q: Divorce cases are many now. How do you hope to remain married again?
A: It’s not me and I don’t have the power to keep my home. All I’m determined to do is my best in the relationship. What I’ve done as a woman is to take my marriage to God because the divorce cases are scary. It’s everywhere. Ladies of nowadays are independent and don’t care about marriage.


In the past, single mothers used to lie about their status but today, ladies flaunt it, the world is changing. I’m going to sound a bit spiritual here- the devil is against marriage because it was instituted by God. And anything that has been done by God, he wants to make sure he pulls it down.

Marriage is meant to be sacred but it is no longer like that anymore. A lot of things have changed; even men don’t care what broken home can do to their kids. I feel our spiritual leaders should address it and make people start thinking of the vision God had about marriage.

I’ve been a victim of divorce once and I know what my daughter went through because I had an issue from that marriage. I don’t want to see any of my children go through that again, and that’s why I’ve taken my marriage to God.

Q: So what were those mistakes you made in the last one that you wouldn’t want to repeat in this one?
A: It’s not like I’m trying to sound holy but, I didn’t make any mistake. I just feel it was meant to be like that. I had a mother-in-law who didn’t like where I come from. She didn’t like the fact that her son didn't marry a lady from their village. She made me go through hell. At a point when I couldn't take it any more, I left the marriage.

Q: So you wouldn’t blame those ladies who wish their mother-in-laws were dead before they got married?
A: I swear I wouldn’t blame them. If I think back to what I went through, I wouldn’t pray for anyone to go through such because I went through hell in the hands of that woman. And for me to have woken up one day and decided to leave, it wasn’t easy because I was young and tried my best to please her. But she wasn’t pleased. I went out of my way to learn their language, learn how to cook different dishes just to please her but she didn’t bulge.

Q: So what did your ex-husband do about it?
A: At first, he actually fought it but some women have a strong hold on their sons. In the end, he obeyed her. He didn’t like it that I was leaving but he couldn't hold me back at the same time because he wanted to please his mum. We had fought the battle for a long time and it wasn’t as if it would come to an end, I had to leave.



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